Second Chance Page 3
The more he thought about it, the more wrong both scenarios felt. He might need the physical release, but he could get that in the shower or by beating Bobby’s ass into the ground. Hooking up with a stranger had never really appealed to him, it never had been, and nothing had changed in that respect. He’d let Bobby talk him into something that ground against his nature, and now had to figure a way to back out.
He couldn’t leave her up there all night wondering what happened. That would be shitty. He would explain this one-night stand thing didn’t sit well for him. Maybe offer to take her to dinner if she appeared interested. If she was open enough for a night with a stranger, then she would understand his misgivings…he hoped.
Breathing easier now, he exited the elevator, found the room, and slid the key card into the slot. The door opened to an impressive suite that included a small kitchenette and sitting area with a large screen television mounted on the wall. Plush, burgundy carpet covered the floor and heavy, gold drapes hung from the sliding glass door that led to the balcony.
Colin’s focus, however, settled on the focal point in the room. The king size bed. It had already been turned down, mints placed on the pillows. He stared at the bed, and his mind immediately leapt to an image of Emily, lying on the gold and burgundy comforter, her long, auburn hair spread across the pillows, wearing a soft smile inviting him to join her. He shut his eyes and groaned. Shit, I need to get out of here.
He glanced around, relieved to find the place empty Apparently, he’d gotten there first. Maybe he could leave a note saying something had come up. Then she wouldn’t be left waiting and wondering.
Searching the desk drawers for paper and a pen, he heard a door snick open. Twisting toward the bathroom, he startled, the bottom of his stomach dropping and his heart stalling. In the doorway stood Emily, all five-foot, six-inches of her. His Emily.
He swallowed. “Oh, Jesus.”
Silky, red fabric clung to her waist, flowed over her flared hips and along her long legs. Jewels glittered at the neckline, drawing his gaze to her ample breasts. Not his imagination this time. Holy fuck. He licked his lips, longing to caress the soft, creamy curves peeking from beneath the material.
Lust shot through his body and pooled heavy in his groin. He swallowed hard and stared. Damn, she was beautiful. Everything in him shouted for him to toss her on the bed and bury himself deep inside her. He shook his head and tried to fight through the intense craving to have her. What the fuck was going on?
Finding his voice, he said, “What are you doing here?” She took a couple steps toward him, and he threw his hand up to stop her. “What the hell are you doing here, Em?”
She sighed. “I think it’s time we stop dancing around this, Colin. I want you. In my life. In my bed. You belong with me and Izzy, and I’m here to tell you that, to bring you home.”
His blood instantly ran cold. His fingers tingled, his head spun, and the walls closed in on him. He couldn’t breathe. He needed out of the damn room. Now. Charging for the door, he tried to move past Emily, but she backed up and blocked his exit.
“You need to move, Em,” he ground out.
“I can’t, Colin.” She brought her hand up to cup his face. “I need you too much to let you go. Can’t you see that?”
He couldn’t see anything right now. He could barely hear her through the pounding of his heart in his ears. This was crazy. He pulled away from her, stormed across the room to the slider. Shoving the glass door open, he stumbled out onto the balcony. Taking deep gulps of the warm, salty air, he tried to calm his racing heart. Get a grip, man.
He stared out at the dark night. The moon reflecting over calm water. Steady breaths in and out.I’m here to tell you that, to bring you home. Her words echoed in his head. He couldn’t go home. He didn’t have one and never could. Colin scrubbed his hands over his face, took a deep breath and gripped the railing with both hands, finding stable purchase. He shook his head and snorted. Some fucking hero he was. Big, bad Special Ops officer having a flipping panic attack at the site of a gorgeous woman in a flimsy red dress.
He ground his teeth, knowing the truth dealt with more than that. It was the thought of what she offered and how desperately he wanted it. Now that his heart rate had returned to normal and he could face her without looking like a total buffoon, he had to come up with a way to let her down without hurting her and ruining the fragile relationship they did have.
And then he would kick Bobby’s fucking ass.
“You’re not planning to jump are you?”
He whipped around to find her standing in the doorway. His gaze dipped lower to her puckered nipples playing peek-a-boo behind the thin satin and lace that covered them. His dick hardened and pressed against his zipper, begging to come out and play. Shit! “No, no jumping. But we do need to talk.”
Emily nodded, turned, and padded over to the couch. Sitting, she stared up at him expectation lighting her eyes.
Colin took a seat on an upholstered chair a few feet away and met her gaze. “First, you have to know I want you, Em. I want you so bad I can taste it. It’s a daily ache inside me.”
She slid forward. “Then what’s the problem? I feel the same way. There’s nothing stopping us from having what we want.”
“Yeah, there is. Me. It has nothing to do with you.” He looked down at his lap. “I can’t do this.”
“Oh, shit, Colin. Really? The whole ‘it’s not you it’s me’ line? That’s beneath you.” Leaning back, she crossed her arms under her breasts, bringing them to his attention again. “Is this about me being Tabitha’s sister?”
“No. Tabitha was the most giving woman I ever knew. You being her sister has nothing to do with this.” When she cocked an eyebrow, he sighed. “It’s the truth. This is about me. I’m nowhere near as strong as you think I am. I lost everything I loved and held dear because of my job. Well, everything but the job. Being a member of the Air Force, in the Special Forces, is all I ever dreamed about. What I worked my ass off for. And I’m damn good at what I do. I love it. What I do makes me proud.”
“You make me proud, too. But what does that have to do with me?”
“Everything.” God, he prayed he could make her understand. “I can’t ask another woman to make the sacrifices it takes to have me in her life.”
She shook her head. “I’d never ask you to give that up. It’s what makes you who you are.”
“No, I know you wouldn’t. But you don’t realize what you’d be giving up.”
“Really, Colin? Would it be more than I’m giving up now?”
He winced. She’d made innumerable sacrifices to raise his daughter and never asked a thing in return—until now. “I’m sorry. I guess you do know, which should be all the more reason for you to want nothing to do with me. My past dictates that when given a choice between my woman and my job, I’ll make the wrong one.”
“I wouldn’t ask you to choose.”
“But I would. And I’d make the wrong one. I can’t go through that again. I won’t live through a loss like that to a bad decision.”
Emily straightened. “Are you talking about the night Tabitha died?”
“Do you really think I had to go on that mission? Damn, Em. The military isn’t that heartless. If I’d already been gone, I wouldn’t have been able to come back. But this was to be a short mission. A quick in and out that had minimal chance of failure. I could have fought harder not to go, but I got too cocky, and as much as I loved Tabitha, the pull to get out there and do my thing was stronger.” He hunched his shoulders and looked past her at the wall. “I choose to leave her, my choice killed her.”
She left her seat and knelt in front of him, placing her hands on his knees. “She hemorrhaged. It was an unexpected complication. She was young and healthy, no one could have known that would happen, and even though the doctors tried their hardest, they couldn’t save her.”
Pain swept through his heart and clutched at his stomach. Tears burned behind his closed ey
es. He should have been there. He opened his eyes and gazed at the beautiful, gentle woman in front of him. He could never do that to her. He wouldn’t survive it a second time. “Maybe not. I’ll never know that, will I? It doesn’t change the fact that I could have been there for her, held her hand when she got scared, and told her she wasn’t alone. I let her down in the most monumental way a man could. I won’t make that mistake again, and that means never putting myself in that position again.”
He wiped the tears from Emily’s face and hoped he’d made her understand. “Please, don’t ask me to do that,” he whispered.
Emily stood and took his hand. “Then please, give me this one night.”
Chapter Five
Emily held her breath, waiting for Colin’s answer. Dear lord she was actually begging the man to make love to her. Would he give her this one night? The need to comfort him, to give herself to him pulsed through her. His plea had broken her heart. She couldn’t fight him anymore, but she could show him the life he could have if he’d only take what she offered.
He stood. He reached out toward her, but instead of touching her, he curled his fingers into a fist and thrust it in his pocket. “I can’t….”
She couldn’t let it end like this. Rising from the couch, she slipped the straps of her gown off her shoulders and let the dress fall from her body to pool around her ankles on the floor.
“One night, Colin.” She stood in front of him, stripped naked to the soul in nothing more than her strappy heels. Her heart pounded in her chest.
He swallowed but remained silent.
She worried her bottom lip between her teeth, took a deep breath, and met his gaze. “I need something to remember. To dream about. Because for me, there is no one but you.”
Without warning, his arms wrapped around her, pulling her tight against his hard chest. His mouth crushed over her lips, his tongue dancing with hers. He scooped her up, carried her the few steps to the bed, and slowly laid her down. Kneeling over her, he paused. His gaze traveled the length of her body, reverence in his eyes.
His hand shook as he trailed his fingers from her cheek, down the side of her neck, along her ribs, and down her thigh. She shivered under his touch. Oh how she’d longed for this, dreamed of it.
“You’re so damn beautiful.” He swallowed and glanced away. “I don’t deserve you.”
Taking his face in her hands, she forced him to look at her, to hear her words. “You’re wrong. You deserve so much more.” Lifting up, she trailed soft kisses along the edge of his jawline. “Let me make you happy. Let me love you—at least for one night.”
She tugged at him, and this time he came willingly. She thrilled at the feel of his weight over her. His kiss was hot and hungry. His warm hands moved over her body, up her sides to cup her breasts, molding his hands to her, caressing and teasing. He trailed open-mouthed kisses down her neck to her nipples, nipping at each bud and smoothing the sting away with his tongue.
“Oh, God, Em,” he whispered, and a shudder passed through him. “I want you so bad it hurts.”
She cradled his head to her body. Savoring the heat of his mouth, combing her fingers through his hair, she moaned from deep within her at the sensations. He slid down her body, and she stopped him. “Not yet. Sit up, please.”
When he did, she scooted up on the bed, knelt in front of him, and unbuttoned his shirt, kissing her way down his chest and sculpted abs. Once she had the shirt open, she shoved the sleeves off his arms and tossed it to the floor.
“Lie back,” she whispered and followed him down with her lips on his.
Lingering on his mouth a moment longer, she pulled back and went to work unfastening his belt and unbuttoning his trousers. Lowering the zipper, especially careful over the large bulge, she slid his pants, socks, and shoes off and added them to his shirt on the carpet.
Emily returned her attention to him. His body was magnificent, all sinew and muscle and tanned skin, and her stomach dipped at the sight. She straddled his hips, his impressive erection nestled under her bottom.
“Emily,” he growled, his breath ragged.
“Shhh,” she placed her fingers against his mouth. “Let me love you.”
She trailed her mouth over his closed lids, his ear, and down his neck to the pulse point in his throat. Her hands moved up his chest, memorizing every ripple and dip. She explored his body with controlled hunger, taking her time, savoring the taste of his skin. God, he smelled good.
Her tongue found his flat male nipple and swirled around it, teasing it to a hardened peak. He shuddered, and the hard muscles of his abdomen contracted under her hands. She wanted him with a desperation she’d never felt before. Reaching farther down, she curled her fingers around his thick erection. Silk and steel.
“Emily,” Colin groaned at her touch. “I won’t last.”
Stretching over to the bedside table, she opened the drawer, grabbed a condom, and ripped it open. Slowly, she rolled it over his erection.
He sucked in a deep breath. “Now, Em!”
Wasting no more time, she lowered until the tip of him pressed at her entrance. She sank down, taking him inch by delicious inch until he was buried to the hilt. She gasped with the pleasure of having him deep inside her. Her skin tingled, decadent sensations ripped through her. This coming together, being one, she’d been craving it from him.
Before she could set a rhythm, he wrapped his arms around her tight, and in a swift, deft move, he was on top of her, their positions reversed. He’d taken over their lovemaking and taken charge.
“Oh,” she gasped at the sudden change and smiled.
“Not yet. I need to taste you.” He climbed down her body and settled himself between her legs. He kissed her inner thighs and traced a path to her core. Thrusting his tongue deep, he mimicked the act they would soon be doing. Emily closed her eyes and submitted herself to the desire racking her body as his fingers and mouth drove her to the edge of oblivion.
“Oh, yes,” she moaned and drove her fingers into his hair. God, what he was doing to her had her womb clenching with need. He brushed his tongue over her most sensitive spot again, and she arched off the bed, climaxing hard. “Colin!”
“You’re so sweet, Em,” he said, his voice husky. While she drifted on the pleasure he’d given her, he crawled his way back up her body and covered her mouth with his in a demanding kiss. “So sweet.”
He moved between her legs, poised at her entrance. He hissed out a shuddering breath as he pushed deep inside her once again in a single, powerful thrust. He stilled then and lowered his forehead to hers.
After a moment of silence, he whispered, “Are you okay?”
Her body thrummed with need, attuned to his every breath, every movement. Their lovemaking was so much more than she’d dreamed. “More than okay.”
She tightened her legs around him as he began to move. As one, they thrust together, hips giving and taking, her mouth on his, tongues dueling. His heart beating with hers. The beauty of their lovemaking bringing tears to her eyes, she blinked them away so he wouldn’t see. Waves of pleasure crashed over her, until she focused solely on where they were joined.
“Oh, Jesus, Emily.”
His hoarse cry pushed her over the edge, and her entire body clenched as her vision blurred momentarily from the intensity of her orgasm.
He pumped once more, froze and groaned his pleasure and collapsed heavy into her, burying his head in her neck. After catching their breath, he rolled over, left the bed, and padded to the bathroom.
A few minutes later, he came back, slid under the covers, and pulled her to him. “I don’t know what to say. I never expected this to happen. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, and you don’t have to say anything. I came into this with my eyes wide open. You were straightforward with me.” She laid her head on his chest, heard his heart pounding beneath her ear. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, Colin, and tonight meant the world to me. Thank you for giving me that.”
“I’m so sorry. If I could risk it again, you’d be the woman I’d risk it for. I can’t.”
“Shhh, get some sleep.”
Twenty minutes later, his breathing evened out and his body relaxed. Content he was asleep, she slipped from beneath the covers, gathered her dress, and pulled it over her head. Strapping on her shoes, she grabbed her purse and tiptoed back the bed. She stared down at her strong warrior, peaceful in sleep, and prayed he would forgive himself one day and claim the love that belonged to him, but she couldn’t hold out hope anymore.
She would make a life for herself and Isabelle without him. She would be fine, and she had tonight to relive when missing him became too much. Wiping away her freshly fallen tears, she bent and gently kissed his forehead. “I love you, Colin. I always will.”
Chapter Six
The door slipped shut, and Colin opened his eyes. She loved him. Rolling onto his back, he cursed his weakness. He’d lost control, damn it, and for a moment, he’d been in heaven. But he never should have let it happen. It wasn’t fair to Emily, and he’d have to find a way for them to move on from tonight. Although, how he could ever look at her again without aching to touch her, he didn’t know.
Closing his eyes, he remembered how beautiful she’d looked. He’d caved the moment she’d dropped her dress. No man alive could have turned her down, and he’d been fighting himself too long. Over the past year, she’d managed to crawl under his skin and into his heart. Making love to her had cemented the deal. He wanted her more now than he ever had.